love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
