Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
