my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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