sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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