he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My vagina is very pro this idea
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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