This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
