What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
