I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
