The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
