The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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