It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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