What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
is that a dick in a sweater?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
