he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
