No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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