i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
