im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
ugly people sure do ruin things
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
