awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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