Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
