could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
