I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
