I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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