You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
