Have you finally orgasmed yet?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
