the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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