I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
