U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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