can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
