My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
