I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
