Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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