Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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