so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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