Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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