Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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