I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
