Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
