I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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