real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
