what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
