What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Terrible idea I love it
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
