You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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