Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
