My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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