Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
