mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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