You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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