What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
