There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize