hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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