I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
