so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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