ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
